This is going to be a more personal post than normal. I have gone through many struggles staying motivated to run dnd twice a week for over a year and a half. Some of the examples will hopefully help, but this post is more to show the challenges of a DM and help you appreciate yours more. And for you forever DM’s know you’re not alone. The stress from a difficult player. Or having players drop in and out, and work getting in the way are all things I have dealt with. Note that I am not depressed, I love my life. But sometime’s it’s nice to share your personal motivation for this amazing hobby.
Why?
The big question is why, what motivates you to Dm for your friends? For me, it is the friends themselves. I would be in a far worse place in life without the friend group that has formed around D&D. They have given me emotional support and help motivate me to continue to run. Having 5 people rely on you twice a week to have a good time is an emotional rush. My goal is to make them have fun, it’s why the last thing I always ask is “Did you have fun tonight?”. If they have fun, I have fun.
Start of Problems
If you read my post A year of running Deadlands and D&D, you’ll know the first major issue I had was a problem player. They were the 5th player added to the game, and at first, they were ok. But as the sessions went on they got worse and worse. They derailed entire sessions by showing up late or refusing to RP. That along with the emotional manipulation made it hard to deal with them. I felt bad for them at first, and it led to me being too lenient. In the end, they left on their own accord right before I was about to kick them. I regret not dealing with them sooner. I let them ruin the fun for the other players. It was my biggest regret and one that shaped me as a person. I hate confrontation, but now I know when it is needed.
Continuing Problems
After the ending of the campaign, mainly caused by the problem player making the whole experience sour. We took a week break which I used to cram out a new setting. Resuming with a new campaign, this campaign was my attempt at a goal-based one. They had one goal, to retrieve Seven artifacts and combine them to make a key, this key will open a prison that dragons are held in. The players played a semi-evil party. The state of the world was terrible and they wanted the dragons to give it a hard reset. This campaign lasted about four months, and it is probably one of the only times I will do a campaign like this. It led to a good ending, but I like more open-form story’s.
Players Dropping In and Out
Dealing with players dropping in and out is hard. At this time a player started showing up sporadically and eventually stopped showing up at all. I’ve talked to them, they know they’re welcome back but I have tried to not think too much about it. Sometimes life just gets in the way. This was a hit to me, as I blamed myself for not being interesting enough. But we picked up two new players so it was all good in the end. I have come to terms with the fact that it isn’t always me. That just because I feel like there are lackluster sessions that don’t mean everyone hates it.
Personal Motivation
Also called inspiration. Ever since running D&D, I have had four part-time jobs, two of which I worked and did college. During that time I had weeks where I haven’t wanted to write anything, the sporadic nature of me posting on this site reflects this as well. Now I am working full-time, and have even less time. But, I try spending at least two-three hours prepping for the next session. It doesn’t always work.
The Magic Moment
You’ll know it when it happens. You’ll be running a D&D session and during it, you’ll realize everything is going perfectly. The player’s engaged, on the edge of their seats. This moment comes to everyone and it’s another thing that keeps me going. There has been a moment like this for every campaign I have run, and my personal favorite is still the assassination of the king my players did in the first campaign. I could write an entire post about moments like this, and may still do one. This will be your motivation for the entire campaign.
Burnout
I have experience burnout multiple times, I am coming off of one of these times right now. I have forced myself through them, but the sessions have suffered. Taking a do-or-die approach is my default, and I find the easiest way to get out of burnout is to change something in your life. For me, I have solved it by finding a better job and going on vacation. Even a week or two off can help make it easy for you to get back into it. Don’t force yourself, treat your own mental health better than I have.
The Best Reason
I have had players tell me that my D&D sessions are how they unwind after a long week. Knowing this makes it easy to force through the rest of the problems. Knowing that helps me force through all my own loss in motivation, and keep going. Having anyone rely on you like that is amazing, and it makes me feel good. This is why I recommend joining a D&D group or running games.
Motivation, and Pushing Yourself
I hope this helps you realize everyone goes through these things. Don’t be ashamed if you lose motivation, or if you need to take a break. Learn from my mistakes, and take solace in whatever motivates you. A friend group united through D&D is a beautiful thing, and I recommend anyone try to find a group. To all the players reading this, appreciate your DM and tell them they did a good job. A genuine compliment goes a long way when we put in so much time. Thanks for reading, I enjoy the fact random people may get something from this.
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